Still loving her!
Just acquired this:
"Part of Me Wishes You Were Bad For my Health"
Monday, September 22, 2008
Call me modest...But I dislike naked walls...
In a previous posting, I sang the praises of local artist Jenna Morrison...
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
On The Road...
I lost my passport.
Sometime between May 27 and May 28th, 2007.
Somewhere between Virginia and Nebraska.
Stopped on a nameless highway trying to prevent my bladder from exploding into fireworks of coffee infused Redbull.
There was no Peyote or Kerouac or Jack of any sort.
I could deceive you into believing that the trip was a dream chasing endeavour wrought with the romanticism of an en route epiphany...
I could manipulate the truck-stop-reality into an undulating water globe of moonlit gravel roads...
I could momentarily suspend your disbelief...
But there was no zen or motorcycle or art...
There was a girl in an Oldsmobile with a passport...At least, until there wasn't.
Friends...
The passport would never have liberated itself from my possession if I'd been packing the following:
Yes...
It's called the "Cleavage Caddy."
Although it's being marketed toward the bar and club-fly constituency, I think it's perfect (No essential) for travellers.
How many times do you find your IN-TRANSIT self almost dutifully peeling down your bottom attire in an unsavory rest area?
Now...
How many times do you see the need to remove your bra on the road?
Exactly.
Sometime between May 27 and May 28th, 2007.
Somewhere between Virginia and Nebraska.
Stopped on a nameless highway trying to prevent my bladder from exploding into fireworks of coffee infused Redbull.
There was no Peyote or Kerouac or Jack of any sort.
I could deceive you into believing that the trip was a dream chasing endeavour wrought with the romanticism of an en route epiphany...
I could manipulate the truck-stop-reality into an undulating water globe of moonlit gravel roads...
I could momentarily suspend your disbelief...
But there was no zen or motorcycle or art...
There was a girl in an Oldsmobile with a passport...At least, until there wasn't.
Friends...
The passport would never have liberated itself from my possession if I'd been packing the following:
Yes...
It's called the "Cleavage Caddy."
Although it's being marketed toward the bar and club-fly constituency, I think it's perfect (No essential) for travellers.
How many times do you find your IN-TRANSIT self almost dutifully peeling down your bottom attire in an unsavory rest area?
Now...
How many times do you see the need to remove your bra on the road?
Exactly.
Monday, September 15, 2008
LOVE IT!
Nicole Richie and Joel Madden have teamed up with Myspace to raise money for kids. If you're interested and able to help, you can text "CHILD," to 90999 and instantly donate 5 bucks! That's so easy! I love it!
The Richie-Madden Children's foundation is focused on raising money for low-income families, building playgrounds, providing medical services, and giving baby products to mothers. Foundation partners include the Los Angeles Free Clinic, UNICEF and Children's Health Fund.
The Richie-Madden Children's foundation is focused on raising money for low-income families, building playgrounds, providing medical services, and giving baby products to mothers. Foundation partners include the Los Angeles Free Clinic, UNICEF and Children's Health Fund.
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Thanks Jeff!
Every once in a while...
Someone sends me a hilarious forward...
Here is the proof:
M & M Breeding
Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels.
Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the "loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round.
I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theatre of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world.
Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment.
When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3x5 card reading, "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes."
This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this "grant money." I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion.
There can be only one.
Someone sends me a hilarious forward...
Here is the proof:
M & M Breeding
Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels.
Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the "loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round.
I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theatre of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world.
Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment.
When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3x5 card reading, "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes."
This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this "grant money." I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion.
There can be only one.
Thursday, September 4, 2008
OMG he's the FBD!
Is it too soon for another dose of Jesssimpion? I don't want you to think I'm a fan of our chicken of the sea monkeys...
That was mean...
I'm sorry...
I didn't mean to insult the one-celled intellect of our sea monkey friends...
I digress...
Jess is calling Tony Romo her "FBD."
To the laymen that means, "Future Baby Daddy."
Awe...
I've heard he has a sweet-as-pie pet name for her too...
"FWB..."Friend with benefits...
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
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