Orange Is The New Black...

I wandered into the Petsmart on 72nd yesterday...

I had every intention of buying a few holiday gift cards...

I had every intention of buy the "Dog" version of Monopoly...

I had EVERY intention of buying some cat crack for my friends with felines addicted to the nip...
I had no intention of being an addict's guardian...


But...


When I met "Saturn," I was intent on bringing him home...

He whispered barely audible meows through the cage grating...

His head tilted to the sound of my voice...

His mouth closed with his tongue hanging between his lips...


Volunteer: Would you like me to open the cage?

Me: Sure.


That was pretty much it...

I picked him up this morning...















































"Saturn," doesn't suit him...

I'm diggin' the following names:

1. Ambrose B. Cat
(Amby for short)

2. Oscar Wilde

3. Gulliver
(A throwback to his former Travelin' lifestyle.)

4. Earnest
As in...The Importance of Being Earnest...

5. ?


What do you think?
Email me!
Heather@q985fm.com



P.S.
Todd at Petsmart Rocks!

Warning: This Blog Contains High Levels of Sarcasm

I like to think of my life as a mini series...

The following cast members have expressed yearly shopping frustration:

"Pauline"

Heather's selfless mother and very close friend.

"Bryan"

Heather's work-a-holic boyfriend, who enjoys The Bears and taming his nearly feral feline.

"Chewbacca"

The nearly feral feline.

I feel that my preferences are fairly generic...

I don't want anything generic...

Case closed...

Simple...

My mom has agreed to "Pimp My Ride" with a remote start devise...Awesome idea for a NE import such as myself.

I invited Chewbacca to move into my loft. She didn't bite me or run away. My assumption is that she has accepted my offer and will consider relocation.

That leaves Bryan...

In his defense. the next 3 months will be challenging:

Dec: Christmas
Jan: My Birthday
Feb: Valentine's Day

Because I have a heart of gold, I assembled a short list of gift ideas...


Then....I happened upon this:

Yes my friends...

It's awesome-ness is only exceeded by it's price tag...

Don't worry...I have devised a plan that makes Lucy and Ethel's genius schemes look...

well...

silly...

Here's the pitch:

Exhibit A:

Science

Stress and Hair Loss: What Are The Causes of Hair Loss?

From Elizabeth Scott, M.S.,Your Guide to Stress Management.FREE Newsletter. Sign Up Now!
About.com Health's Disease and Condition content is reviewed by Steven Gans, MD

Stress and Hair Loss: You may have heard that stress can cause hair loss, and it’s true. Excessive physical or emotional stress, like that associated with injury, illness or surgery, can cause one of two types of hair loss:
The more common type is called telogen effluvium. With this less severe type of hair loss, the hair stops growing and lies dormant, only to fall out 2 or 3 months later. Then it grows back within 6 to 9 months.
The other type of stress-induced hair loss is known as alopecia areata, and involves a white blood cell attack on the hair follicles. With this type of hair loss, the hair also falls out within weeks (usually in patches), but can involve the entire scalp and even body hair. Hair may grow back on its own, but treatment may also be required.

Exhibit B

Cliches/Subliminal messages

Exhibit C:
Simple Math

In reference to things other than weight gain, zits and credit card debit...3 is better than 2.

Exhibit D

Summation: