Screw "I love your eyes..."

In 2002, I moved...

into a crappy college apartment complex where I battled daily for a parking slot.

After most of my belongings were successfully stacked into an 8x10 bedroom, I retrieved the last item...

The 1980 red MGB project car, which was/is/always will be my preferred form of transportation.

I am attracted to small topless cars, because it's easy to feel reckless and unfettered behind their steering wheels...It's almost as though a 4 cylinder engine is strapped to my desk chair, and I can fit anywhere...quickly.

In just that fashion, I pulled up into an almost impossibly small spot. A guy with gaged ears and an electric guitar, who has since become one of my dearest friends, stopped and waited until I manually secured the canvas top and opened my delightfully creaky car door. Ignoring the pomp and circumstance of "Hello," he said, "Short Skirt Long Jacket...by Cake...I think they wrote that song about you."

That, my friends, was the most incredible complement I've received...up until today.

This was sitting in my inbox:

You are fast approaching the title of funniest person with girl plumbing I have ever heard...Don't stop talking.

Thanks :-) That will sustain me for at least 8 years...

XOXO

-H

:-)

Concert venue port-a-potties, I am no longer your slave!

Have you seen this:

http://www.go-girl.com/how-to-get-gogirl.asp

It's a collapsible funnel so women can avoid sitting on toilet seats!

The Go-Girl:

Oh MSN...

MSN has a list of things NOT to share with your co-workers...

-Intimate details about your personal life

- Breakups/divorces

-Hangovers/Wild weekends

-Blogging or social networking sites

-Gossip

Hum...

I think I break every one of those rules EVERY night.

Oh MSN...

Silly Rabbit.

LOL...Thanks Dan

Song: Just Read Heathers Blog
By:Dan Dan the Napa Man

Where is the moment we needed the most
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost
You tell me your blue skies fade to grey
You tell me your passion's gone away
And I don't need no carryin' on
You stand in the line just to hit a new low
You're faking a smile with the coffee to go
You tell me your life's been way off line
You're falling to pieces everytime
And I don't need no carryin' on Just read Heathers Blog
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
Just read Heathers Blog
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
Just read Heathers Blog
Just read Heathers Blog
Well, you need a blue sky holiday
The point is they laugh at what you say
And I don't need no carryin' on
Just read Heathers Blog
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
Just read Heathers Blog
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
Just read Heathers Blog(Oh.. What a Great Blog..)
Sometimes the system goes on the blink
And the whole thing turns out wrong
You might not make it back and you know
That you could be well oh that strong
And I'm not wrong (ahhh...)
So where is the passion when you need it the most
Oh, you and I
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost
'Cause you just need to read Heathers Blog
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
Just read Heathers Blog
You've seen what you like
And how does it feel for one more time
Just read Heathers Blog
Just read Heathers Blog(Oh, yeah, yeaaah, yeah)
Read Her Blog(Oh, Read Her Blog)
Just read her Blog(Oh, yeah, yeah, yeeeeah)
Read Her Blog(Oh, Read Her Blog)
Read Her Blog...
Just read Heathers Blog...

Lowering the divorce-rate is Anti-American

I just read an article about our friends in the Sunshine State...

Apparently a group is lobbying to abolish the "No-Fault" divorce.

I understand that these people can see a potential utopia through their rainbow goggles...But...Come on!

Am I being extreme when I say that making it more difficult to divorce will severely affect the economy?

Think about it...

Fewer divorce lawyers employed...

Real estate agents and moving companies missing out on relocation assistance fees...

Childcare workers, out of work because both parents together can handle their kids.

Las Vegas tourism down, because fewer people are willing to hop on a plane for a fun-quickie-marriage-weekend.

Dating sites yielding fewer membership fees, because fewer people are single.

Restaurants & bars gaining less income from "Dates."

Gym memberships down...Why look hot if you hate your mate? Being out-of-shape is a great punishment.

Wedding planners, caterers, churches & other ceremony centers, bridal party attire providers, florists, printing centers and mobile DJs/Bands all feeling the heat...If it REALLY is forever...fewer people are going to take the plunge.

Therefore...

Lowering the divorce-rate is Anti-American.