Our studio/building is being re-vamped. Last night one of the painters was telling me about his kids...I feigned interest...He asked if I had any kids...
*I don't think I have ever been so insulted*
I made a face, "No..."
Beyond a general dislike of children, I've been asking myself why I took such offense...
I've come up with the following:
1. My job is important to me. Why would I voluntarily invite an additional priority into my life? The idea questions my commitment to radio. I'm not saying that people who breed don't care about their careers. I'm just pointing out that I don't want to have to take a day off work because I have a kid that lands in the ER...I would grow to resent their existence.
2. I'm not done with my self-improvement projects. Asking me if I have kids shines a big spotlight on goals I have yet to achieve. For example, I would like to speak fluent French and Spanish. Why would I have a kid when I'm not done perfecting myself? That's like re-doing the bathroom tile while simulaneously tearing off the roof.
3. I don't think anyone wants to think of their own mortality. Having kids means that I am no longer a kid...officially.
4. The idea of changing a diaper makes me nauseous. I have never changed a diaper. I never want to change a diaper. Thank you for having kids and changing their diapers so the task of populating the earth with kids and diapers does not fall on me...
5. Earnest:
We're not looking for a third wheel...
In the interest of time, I will spare you reasons 5-infinty.
Although...reason number 98 has to do with stretch marks...
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