Terrorism

Earnest will never be a successful interior designer. You will not see him on Trading Spaces, Divine Design, Colorsplash with David Bromstad, Design on a Dime or any other show based on aesthetic improvement.

Earnest will never make it as a landscaper. If Crosby, Stills or Nash needed a third cat for their yard...Earnest would be too busy making my life hard. Plus...he does not have opposable thumbs.

Earnest is a botanical terrorist.

Exhibit A

Defendant claimed he was just "Smelling the roses." I don't believe he inhaled.

Exhibit B

Suspect apprehended violating a bathroom plant.

The defendant claimed, "My relationship with said plant is both consensual and symbiotic."

I responded with, "Earnest, your vocabulary has improved! Have you been reading the dictionary between demolition projects?"

The defendant meowed, "Indubitably."

No charges will be filed...