Celebrity Costumes ;-)

Here are my favorites so far!

KellyRipa as Sarah Paylin...

Katy Perry as her idol, Freddie Mercury

Gwen Stefani...Our favorite fertile goddess...as herself ;-)

I guess Lance put on the wrong costume...

Terry Hatcher's Queen of Hearts was far superior to my 2006 rendition:

ebay Addict...

I have to hand it to ebay...

For those of us who may not be athletically inclined...

The online superstore really give you that "Winning," feeling...

Mr. ebay...If you're reading this...

Please consider implementing some sort of "Cheering" or "Clapping" sound effect...Thanks.

My latest acquisition:

Scroll down for the back-story :-)

"Orange" has evolved...

Even though nothing rhymes with "Orange..."

I'm convinced anything is possible...

Here is the genetically enhanced version of Earnest:

What's so great?

How could THIS cat be superior to Earnest?

My friends...

The frat guys were correct...

Beauty IS a light switch away...

Mr. Green Genes glows in the dark ;-)

Keep-A-Breast Fundraiser

Artists like Katy Perry, Travis McCoy (Gym Class Heroes), Iggy Pop, Kim Gordon (Sonic Youth), and Mark Ecko have teamed up with The Keep-A-Breast-Foundation to help raise breast cancer awareness.



Essentially plaster casts are created, then the celebs paint them!



The ebay auction is here:



http://shop.ebay.com/merchant/thekeepabreast2005



Lots of auctions end today (10-28)...So if you're interested and able, don't hesitate!



This one is my favorite:

















About this nonprofit:
The Keep A Breast Foundation is a 501 (c) (3) non-profit organization. Our mission is to help eradicate breast cancer by exposing young people to methods of prevention, early detection and support. Through art events, educational programs and fundraising efforts we seek to increase breast cancer awareness among young people so they are better equipped to make choices and develop habits that will benefit their long-term health and well-being.

I am allergic to my High-Maintenece-Self

How much weirdness does the average person possess?

If you ever find yourself pondering your own oddities...

Here is a snapshot from my life...to hopefully...make you feel better about yours.

Earlier today:

As I'm blow drying my hair, Jenny calls...

Me: Hello (Sneeze)
Jenny: Bless you! (Random political banter.)
Me: (Laugh) (Sneeze)
Jenny: Bless You! (The conversation turns to boys...)
Me: (Laugh) (Sneeze) (Sneeze)
Jenny: Are you OK?
Me: I always sneeze when I blow dry my hair...
Jenny: (Silence)
Me: Yeah...
Jenny: You should mention that one the air.
Me: (Sneeze)

That's right...

I didn't noticed until today...

But I ALWAYS sneeze as I'm blow drying my hair...

Kind of odd...

Don't have any known allergies...

And yet...

Whether I'm at home or in a salon...

I sneeze...

There are several plausible explanations for my sneezing problem...Yet I choose to believe that I am most likely allergic to the absence of Earnest...

He was at the opposite end of the apartment...Waiting for the snot tsunami to subside:

Just call me Neo, cause I've met The Source...

Until a couple days ago, my relationship with the Omaha police dept. looked like this:

Now it looks more like this:
















That's right my friends...

I got flowers from a cop!

This situation baffles me...

I've had 2 significant relationships, totally about 6 years of my life...Neither guy ever sent me flowers.

Then I meet, "The Source" of the tickets...

Said Source and I have not been on a date, I don't even know the last name of "The Source."

And yet...

Just as quickly as one might notice flashing lights in the rear view...

Poof! Flowers...

The moral of this story...

"When you go fast, you get a ticket. When you go slow, you get flowers."

Another Thing To Confuse Our Friend Jessica Simp.

Regardless of how you, or I, feel about PETA...

I have to hand it to them for being creative...

No matter how shocking, extreme, or off-putting some of their campaigns may be, they really pour a lot of energy into capturing interest.

The latest:

A campaign to further numb the mind of our friend Jessica Simpson...

FISH=SEA KITTENS

People don't seem to like fish. They're slithery and slimy, and they have eyes on either side of their pointy little heads—which is weird, to say the least. Plus, the small ones nibble at your feet when you're swimming, and the big ones—well, the big ones will bite your face off if Jaws is anything to go by.
Of course, if you look at it another way, what all this really means is that fish need to fire their PR guy—stat. Whoever was in charge of creating a positive image for fish needs to go right back to working on the Britney Spears account and leave our scaly little friends alone. You've done enough damage, buddy. We've got it from here. And we're going to start by retiring the old name for good. When your name can also be used as a verb that means driving a hook through your head, it's time for a serious image makeover. And who could possibly want to put a hook through a sea kitten?

Thanks fark.com

Funny in the whole, "Alanis," way...

You know...

The rain on the wedding day...

Free ride when it's already paid way...


http://jalopnik.com/5066062/ten-cars-you-can-live-in-after-your-home-is-repossessed

Weddings & Jerseys & Kittens...Oh My...

I'm back in Omaha after the wedding of the year...

I've been to more...many more...than one this year, but Allison and Jeremy's wedding deserves the "Wedding of the Year," moniker.

Because the "Wedding of the Year," deserves multiple installments in this blog, I will create a trilogy. It will go backwards, as I do not have immediate access to the "Wedding of the Year," photos.

I will tell you that:

1. I caught the bouquet.
2. I gave a toast.
3. I handed out sparklers, greeted the caterers, made sure the table cloths were placed with care, hung curtains in the renovated-barn-reception-site, attended to Allison's dress, duck-taped when necessary, and in general ran around in a frenzy for 5 days...
4. I got Earnest an "I missed you," present...















Soon after receiving his jersey, his inner line-backer took over, and he tackled me...